Red Riding Hood

Red Riding Hood is supposed to be, I assume, a scary re-telling of the famous fairy tale. It looks more like director Catherine Hardwicke trying to stick it to Summit Entertainment for firing her from directing the rest of the Twilight films. Red Riding Hood is visually striking but lacks any shred of substance, story, character development, realistic costumes, and logic.

Hardwicke’s stylistic filmmaking really tricks you into thinking you are watching something great. There are epic shots of tall trees in the forest, swooping overhead shots of mountains, stark color palettes, and very detailed art direction. But even the visual aspects have problems, namely the styling of the actors. It appears as if this takes place in medieval times with men drinking mead, women wearing corsets, wood-cutting being a career, grandmothers living in the middle of the forest, and a monster terrorizing the village a la Beowulf. Or something. If this is the case, then everything should look like it is from this vague fictionalized time period. I could not get past the styling of Suzette (Virginia Madsen):

The photo shows from left to right Amanda Seyfried as Valerie (totally an authentic Medieval name, right?), Billy Burke as her father Cesaire (who also plays the father in Twilight, proof of what I said at the beginning), and Suzette, her mother. Unfortunately I could not find a bigger/clearer photo of Suzette. First of all, she has bleached blonde highlights. She also has heavily drawn on eyebrows, a lot of eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, blush, and lipstick. I know that everyone in a film has to wear make-up, but it is supposed to be appropriate to the setting. I’m sure there were some early forms of makeup and hair products back then, but come on, she looks straight out of 2005. Also, it was snowing for almost the entirety of the film and everyone is running around in thin, light clothing.

That was really the only point I wanted to make. There isn’t much more to say about this sad attempt to remake Twilight with a slightly different cast of characters and plot. Of course it has to be a werewolf and not a wolf in this version. Of course there has to be an inappropriate love triangle where the girl can’t choose between two equally horrible men (but they’re attractive, so it’s okay!). Of course girls have to love monsters that could kill them. And Daddy issues. And of course the main girl has all these special abilities for no apparent reason and is otherwise a completely flat, bland character. Thanks, Hardwicke, for continuing the tradition of female directors (except for Kathryn Bigelow) making terrible films that perpetuate all the negative stereotypes about women, girls, and why filmmaking is a male-dominated industry. Keep it up and one day you’ll be just like Sofia Coppola, famous for her films Rich White People Problems: Parts 1-4.

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Farewell, Big Love!

Last night was the series finale of HBO’s five season show about polygamy, Big Love. This is a show that I somehow found myself watching during the third season and never decided whether or not I really liked it, became too invested, and then saw it through to its end. (Also, if you watch the show and haven’t seen the finale yet, SPOILER ALERT!! Don’t read this post. You’ve been warned.)

A lot of HBO and Showtime shows fit into the category of  “normal” people doing something out of the ordinary. In Weeds, Mary Louise Parker plays a suburban mother of two who sells marijuana. We have Dexter the benevolent serial killer who is great with kids and works for the Miami police. Ok…the more I think about it, the more I realize I can only come up with examples from Showtime. But, regardless, Big Love has always been interesting because it was about a “normal” family living in a pristine suburb, except there are 3 wives, 3 houses, and a lot of children. I suppose we, as viewers, like these type of shows because we can relate to the main characters on the surface, but then it’s sort of fun and interesting to see how these people lead drastically bizarre lifestyles. (No offense to drug dealers, serial killers, or polygamists.)

 

This is Dexter. Just in case you were wondering.

So Big Love came to an end last night with (LAST CHANCE TO STOP READING IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE EPISODE!) Bill dying a martyr for his cause, similar to Joseph Smith and Jesus Christ. I have to say, I had accidentally read a spoiler at the beginning of the season that said “It has been rumored that Bill will die at the end.” but I assumed he would be killed by his crazy brother-in-law Alby/prophet of Juniper Creek (backwards polygamist compound), after all the creepy drama this show put us through with Alby and his clan. So I was surprised that in the end he was shot by his derranged, jealous neighbor. Weird, kind of anti-climatic, but at least it wasn’t predictable! ?

I’m torn on whether or not I’m sad that Bill died. Bill grew up at Juniper Creek and was thrown out of his house/ran away as a teenager. Because of this, and because of all the disgusting things that go on at the compound (particularly very young girls being “sealed” to older men and forced to have their babies), Bill has always prided himself on being better than all of that. Except for the part that he is also a polygamist, and even though it was by accident, he married a young girl (he didn’t know Margene was 16 and not 18. But even if she was 18…she was still the babysitter? Anyway.) and she had three children with him. And, he has always been such a staunch believer in “the principle” and wouldn’t let anything get in his way.

Life in Juniper Creek

In fact, sometimes I forget that in the beginning (before the show started), Bill was only married to his first wife, Barb. But when Barb got sick, Nicki, from the compound, came to take care of her, and then that somehow led to Bill convincing Barb to be a polygamist and marry Nicki and then the 16 year old babysitter. It’s easy to forget Bill’s questionable behavior when he is always so serious about being better than the compound, being better than the old prophet, Roman Grant (Nicki’s father) and after Roman died, Alby (Nicki’s brother). Yes, those two men were absolutely out of their minds and condoned rape and horrible things. But Bill was pretty much the same, except he wore a nice suit and lived in a nice suburb instead.

Like Father-in-Law(Spirit?)/Prophet of Juniper Creek, Like Son-in-Law(Spirit?)/Prophet of Salt Lake City?

That theme was always interesting, characters trying to escape their pasts, insisting that they are better, but not being able to deny who they truly are. This happens with Bill but also with Nicki, who was arguably the most interesting character. Nicki grew up on the compound, she was forced to marry and have a baby when she was very young, and she managed to escape and…marry Bill and his wife. Nicki  had a very abusive past and was always deeply deranged, but she also always insisted that she was better than the compound. But, she couldn’t deny who she really was, and out of nowhere would often do insane and evil things (like scream at an 8 year old and scare him so much that he fell to the ground and knocked his teeth out ????).

Chloe Sevigny as the insanely tragic Nicki Grant

Back to my original point, about Bill’s death. Bill was the patriarch of his big family and he always provided for them and made sure they had everything they needed. Other than that, I can’t really think of any “good” characteristics about him. He was always there to talk to his children and his wives, but he was never interested in hearing anything outside of his strict world view, and he would just throw them some bullshit about eternity. But even outside of that, Bill has always been so self righteous about his beliefs, and even though he claimed to “put his family first,” he put his family at risk over and over and over again to fulfill his own needs. First, he just HAD to run for congress (or the senate? or something?) despite his wives correctly suggesting that being in politics would put too much of a spotlight on their family. And throughout the entire campaign, things kept going wrong, and Barb kept asking him to reconsider, but he pushed through. Then, when he actually got elected, he decided that he had to come clean with his three wives and announce themselves as polygamists. (This made sense, I guess, because people were always coming close to figuring out their situation…but that probably wouldn’t have happened if Bill didn’t insist on being such a public figure). Although eventually the wives were in support of that decision, that act sent the family into a downward spiral that was the last season. The children were ridiculed at school, Margene lost her job because she was a polygamist, and life generally just became impossible…all so that Bill could stand up for his beliefs! Ugh. I don’t know. AND THEN, as if things couldn’t get more Bill-centric and worse, once they were all “out of the closet” and Bill was still a senator or congress man or something, Bill had to go around making a big stink about how they still considered themselves Mormons. Which, fine, that’s fair, they consider themselves Mormons that believe in the principle. FINE! BUT! The Mormon church was pissed that they were aligning themselves with them and giving Mormons a bad name. Yet, Bill pushed on and wouldn’t drop it, of course, which just angered everyone even more and which probably caused the excessive investigations which eventually lead to everyone finding out that Margene was 16 when they got married and Bill was going to be tried for statutory rape. That was a really long sentence but I hope I’m making some kind of point.

Ginnifer Goodwin as the adorable, accidentally 16 year old Margene Heffman

My point is, Bill was always a martyr and always insisted on getting his way even if it made life harder for his family, and ironically, his entire thing was ABOUT his family, his being allowed to practice polygamy. And I suppose we are taught to always stand up for our beliefs, but I just feel like there has to be some kind of gray area, a gray area that says: your family is illegal and by standing up for your beliefs you are endangering them! But maybe not? In the end, he got shot by a jealous neighbor in the middle of his suburban street. His one redeeming moment was that as he died he asked Barb to give him a blessing. This was a big deal because of something about the priesthood and Barb being crazy enough to think she was allowed to make her own decisions and Bill thought it was completely preposterous and never acknowledged it and they were maybe going to break up BUT then in his final moments, he accepted her. Although I guess that could also be read as him taking the best he could get.

 

Jeanne Tripplehorn as feminist/polygamist/woman who deserves your respect Barbara Henrickson

 

I’m still torn on whether Bill was a good guy or a bad guy. Regardless, the final episode was very subtle and eerily calm. I think it was a fitting end, I only wish they had wrapped up the Juniper Creek storyline a little better. I am sad to see this show come to an end, but I don’t think it could have gone on much longer. Also, I really did like how the episode ended with a cover of “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys, which was the show’s original theme song. A nice look back at where it all began, and a way to say goodbye. R.I.P. Bill, Lois, and Big Love.

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(this doesn’t really fit with this blog but…)

R.I.P. Nate Dogg (August 19, 1969 – March 15, 2011)
“all doggs go to heaven” -snoop dogg’s twitter

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Another Blog Post About The Oscars

I love the Oscars. I know they are kind of meaningless but I love movies (shocker) and I like seeing all the actors and directors and it’s fancy. This year I’ve seen 8 out of the 10 best picture nominees. I haven’t seen The Fighter because I already saw and loved Raging Bull so I don’t feel obligated to watch any more boxing movies. I also haven’t seen The King’s Speech and I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s a great movie but it’s just not appealing to me. Maybe I will try to watch it before Sunday because it’s going to win everything and I’m going to be bitter. And maybe I’ll end up loving it. But for now, here are my thoughts on the other nominees (I promise not to talk too long about all of them).

Black Swan was a thoroughly entertaining film. I was never bored. I’m really not into Natalie Portman but she didn’t bother me as much as usual. I really like Darren Arronofksy and the film definitely had a lot of his trademark touches. Plus, how beautiful is Mila Kunis? Very beautiful. Excellent cinematography, editing, and directing. Only the writing falls a little flat at times, and sometimes seems like it’s confusing just for the sake of being confusing. In an interview with MTV, Arronofsky said that originally he was developing Black Swan and his 2008 The Wrestler as the same movie. He said, “I realized pretty quickly that taking two worlds like wrestling and ballet was much too much for one movie. So I guess my dream is that some art theater will play the films as a double feature some day.” I really, really loved The Wrestler so I’d be interested to watch them both back to back, and I definitely see how they have overlapping themes (failure, hurting yourself for success). Definitely one of my favorite films of the year, and I’m impressed that Natalie Portman learned so much ballet in such a short amount of time. And that’s the last nice thing I have to say about her.

(Next is The Fighter which like I said, I haven’t seen.)

I think the new (as of last year) system of nominating 10 films for best picture instead of 5 is a little silly, because at least 5 of the films don’t really belong on the list. I loved Inception, but it’s not really best picture material. Still, it’s a fun film that’s difficult to wrap your brain around. I love Leonardo DiCaprio, just like every other girl my age who grew up with Titanic, and he is awesome in this movie, as usual. Also, Joseph Gordon Levitt. Even though the story can get convoluted, I always appreciate when a movie pushes the boundaries, even if it causes it to fail. Props for trying to do something different. Also, great film techniques to take us in and out of the many layers of dreams.

More like The Kids Are Mediocre. Seriously, this does not belong on the best picture list. And Mark Ruffalo is taking up a spot as a best supporting actor nominee that should have gone to Andrew Garfield. More on that later. I guess it’s nominated because Hollywood loves to pat itself on the back for not being racist (see: Crash) and for not being homophobic. Yes, this is a mainstream movie about a lesbian couple raising children, so it SEEMS like it’s progressive but guess what? IT’S NOT! Come on. Julianne Moore’s character repeatedly cheats on her wife with Mark Ruffalo (I can’t even be bothered to look up the characters’ names) because I guess even though she’s a lesbian, what she really wanted and needed was a man. And what the kids really wanted and needed was a dad, not 2 moms. And everything works out with no consequences at the end, just like a typical heterosexual romantic comedy (see: Did You Hear About The Morgans?). Ok. Great. Moving on.

(Haven’t seen The King’s Speech.)

I LOVED this film. Originally I only wanted to see it because I love Danny Boyle, the story didn’t sound too appealing but I went to see it anyway and I was totally surprised and blown away. I’m not the biggest James Franco fan (I mean, how can you not roll your eyes at him at least a little bit, he’s teaching a class about himself!) but he was fantastic. I don’t know what the real Aron Ralston is like, but Franco puts so much personality into the character that I’d like to believe that’s exactly how Ralston is. Plus, to get through a situation like that, you have to be! Wonderful directing and editing, as usual for Danny Boyle. And I cried tears of relief when he finally made it out (spoiler alert?) while Sigur Rós played. What a beautiful scene. I really think this film is underrated.

What is there to say about Toy Story 3? It’s cute, heartwarming, sad, and colorful like most Pixar movies. I remember the first Toy Story from my childhood like most probably do, and in this newest installment, Andy is packing to go away to college. This resonated with my friends and I who saw this film just after graduating college. Which of course is not the same thing as first going to college, but that’s not the point. Growing up, moving on, leaving your toys behind you, it’s depressing. Also, how often do you see a best picture nominee with a 3 at the end of its title?

Oh man. The Coen Brothers! Jeff Bridges drinking whiskey on a horse with an eye patch! There is a lot to love about True Grit. Roger Deakins, the cinematographer who often works with the Coen brothers, did an incredible job, as usual. Some of the shots in this film are breathtaking, despite taking place in the middle of nowhere. The acting was wonderful. Hailee Steinfeld is FOURTEEN YEARS OLD and awesome. Like most Coen brothers productions, there was always some odd, uncomfortable humor that would pop up once in a while, which I enjoyed. The directing is flawless, of course. Even though I was admittedly a little bored in the beginning, the last 45 minutes made up for it. Overall, a solid movie.

Ugh, Winter’s Bone. “Have you seen my daddy?” and something about meth and the Ozarks for about two hours. This film was really hyped up and I swear I wanted to like it but I was just not feeling it. I don’t even have any good reasons. Sorry.

I am in love with The Social Network. WOW. Each aspect of the film fits so perfectly with the rest of it. Of course, Aaron Sorkin’s dialog is unbelievable and hilarious. But this script needed good acting to carry it out, and Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield nail it without any problems. (Also, lol Justin Timberlake. You know what’s cool? A BILLION dollars.) Good writing combined with good acting needed good directing and David Fincher knew exactly what he was doing. It’s funny because in interviews Fincher keeps saying how this movie wasn’t that great and he doesn’t understand why it’s getting so much attention. Relax, Fincher, you know it’s a good movie. Also, I saw David Fincher speak at the New York Film Festival and he said that he shot each scene hundreds of times until it was absolutely perfect. I can’t even imagine how long that must have taken and how much patience everyone must have had. But it really shows. It is absolutely perfect, just like he wanted it to be. You almost forget that it’s a movie about rich bored white kids at Harvard who invented Facebook and then fight over billions of dollars. I don’t know, the making of this film was seriously just magic. Incredible. Also why was Andrew Garfield not nominated for best supporting actor?! Come on. He was so good! “Sorry my Prada’s at the cleaners along with my hoodie and my fuck-you-flip flops you pretentious douchebag.” and “You better lawyer up, asshole.” Good thing we gave that spot to Mark Mediocre Ruffalo who sat around the movie the whole time looking scruffy on a motorcycle. I can’t give this movie enough love. I hope it wins everything it’s nominated for. And I’m tired of everybody saying “The Social Network should win, but The King’s Speech will win.” Well then why can’t The Social Network just win if we’re all in agreement here? Because The King’s Speech is straight up Oscar bait so it will get what it set out for. Even though The Social Network is so timely and on point and indicative of our current state of being. And the final scene is just crazy awesome and wonderful and I don’t have enough words for it. Jesse Eisenberg sits at his computer after all the lawsuits and everything finally quiets down. He opens Facebook, HIS OWN INVENTION, and sends a friend request to some girl he screwed over and apparently still cares about. “Baby You’re A Rich Man” by The Beatles starts playing and Eisenberg sits there continually refreshing Facebook, waiting to see if the girl will accept his request. That action is so inane and so specific to all of us who are addicted to the Internet and give so much importance to social networking sites. And yet, even the man who created it (ok, in this fictionalized version) can’t rise above the power of Facebook. Even though he’s a rich man.

So, I think it’s clear which one is my favorite. Which films will you be rooting for on Sunday?

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